When researchers from the University of Virginia asked 3,000 men and women what the most important quality in marriage is in 2006, they were expecting the answers to be things like “frequent sex,” “good communication,” and “common interests.” Instead, most of the responders said “generosity.” Surprised? By now, most researchers who study long-term relationships aren’t. In 2014, researcher John Gottman listed kindness and generosity as the two most important elements in a lasting union, and more and more studies are linking generosity with happiness in general.
Here are some of the most important things you should know about generosity, especially if you’re looking to apply it to your relationship: