If you’re single and looking for love, you might feel restless: restless in your longing to experience deep romantic chemistry with someone. I get it. No doubt it’s an incredible feeling, and frankly I believe it’s what we’re wired for. I believe we need it. But I also firmly believe that timing is everything. So if you’re single and feeling restless, this isn’t a plea to end your search—rather, it’s to teach you how to quell that uneasiness by grabbing the golden opportunity that’s before you.
The opportunity here is growth. Proactively committing to your growth is the most important thing to do when you’re single and looking for love.
You don’t want to enter your next relationship as the same person you were in your previous one. Let me explain: One of the biggest mistakes I’ve seen people make (including myself) is to blame the other person for the demise of their relationship. Even more common is blaming the actual relationship, as if “the relationship” was this elusive entity separate from the two people involved. The moment you take responsibility for the choices you’ve made in your love life is the moment you change the game. This isn’t about shame—it’s the opposite. You must recognize the privilege it is to claim sovereignty over your life, which includes who you attract, but more importantly, who you’re attracted to. To be responsible for your life is self-love. And when you train yourself to look onto your inevitable failures as opportunities for growth and rebirth, well, that’s radical self-love.
Growth is an inside job. What this means? It’s more of a feeling than something that can be measured by circumstance. There certainly may be symptoms of your growth, such as various achievements or successes, but the most obvious indication of your progress is that you feel more whole and thus more fulfilled. Even when life gets difficult, if we’re growing, our lives will feel meaningful.
Practice these three steps to catapult your growth and prepare you for your next relationship: